The Dialogue Within


The Old Guitarist, from Piscasso’s Blue period collection 1903-1904

I was taught that mentally forcing myself to make more carefully calculated decisions on pressing issues as opposed to making a decision through a reaction under the influence of negative or positive momentary emotional burdens was unarguably a crucially important skill in the development of my character in this material world. I thought that not giving into the temptation of instantly reacting was a masculine virtue, instead of constantly following my gut instincts similar to that of a cro-magnon man. In situations where I deeply felt that my mind had to react, I quickly engaged an inner voice to artificially tell me to give it a day or two and “sleep on it” in order to make a fully thoughtful decision devoid of the heated emotion I was in at that specific moment. I would be orchestrating my life based on processed and verified data, using the passing of time as an undisputable ally along the way. It was made clear through the more experienced colleagues ahead of me in the game of life that this was the right mindset to adopt for a man desiring to progress. However, later, as I contemplated more and more on this mental approach, I realized that; to artificially degrade the mind into an emotionless computer like state that thinks mainly about taking the right actions, which would directly or indirectly promote self-interests was a fallacy. In a way it was like having a full grip on the puppet strings of a puppet who I was assuming was the person I was dealing with which later I realized was my authentic self, desperately pleading to reemerge. As I got older, constantly monitoring my thoughts to keep them in line with my self-interests just seemed to me as a different type of an Orwellian approach to life. This time Big Brother wasn’t a dystopian character in a fictional book in the year 1984, but It was me, being the Big brother by constantly monitoring my inner dialogue, making sure it was in line with the interests of Oceania (Self Interests of power and wealth within this made up material world).

The inner relationship between the two voices that create the dialogue within the mind is similar to that of two best friends and roommates in a college dormitory setting, with one being the dominant one who always has the game console in his hands, while the other influences the course of the game through verbal commentary. If the relationship between the two voices is tainted by the actions of one or the other, domestics within the dormitory (the mind) may go sour. Now, when this dialogue is introduced to the new wait-observe-and-react school of thought for maximizing gains on self-interests, things within the dorm room could possibly get complicated. Because, we all know by now that in order for any union to last in peace in the long term; the pillars of trust and respect must never be compromised. The waiting aspect of the calculated response principle can shatter the peaceful union into pieces, injecting the dormitory with odors of distrust and resent. The two characters in the mind that make up the sacred never-ending dialogue is as long as life itself. There is not a moment that goes by where one of the entities is absent on a vacation or turns a blind eye to any of the conspiring events in the plot of life.

We must think twice on delaying a response to an impulse originating from our gut.* Even from an evolutionary perspective one could easily argue that emotional bursts are hidden signs and messages being emitted directly from the evolutionary intelligence programed and preserved by our ancestors through hundreds of thousands of years, which are now preciously embedded within our DNA codes.

The confidence that comes from maintaining inner peace and a healthy inner dialogue is invaluable for an individual, and may be the only thing we actually possess in some circumstances. No matter how much we may want to hide it, the inner peace or chaos is transparent to others. During moments in our life which require a combination of bravery, creativity and mindfulness, such as giving a speech to a large audience, the inner dialogue will be exposed to a certain extent, simply because no one can follow a speech outline word for word an hour? The Audience will read any incongruences of the speaker and pick on all the signs of disunity causing there attention to dissipate towards the latest instagram posts of their loved ones, for human beings are still very tribal in their nature and will pick up on any social signs of unworthiness.

In conclusion, when all material belongings are excuded, the only thing we have left besides our body is our mind and its unity. If for any reason the union of the dialogue within is somehow compromised by an outsider, verbally retaliating, even if it may cause a loss of employment, is the right thing to do in order to preserve inner peace.  The modern self-development school of thought is full of traps for the spiritual wellbeing of the soul. It is also important to mention that what the inner dialogue most needs besides getting along with each other in terms of trust and respect, is Faith and God.

I also feel that I must add that sometimes “sleeping on it” is the correct decision, in cases where the inner dialogue is not threatened, such as important business and family decisions.

* Disclaimer: Please note that I am not promoting any form of violence when I talk about ‘a response to an impulse originating from our gut’.

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